3. Stand up more
Sitting down puts your body in neutral – it constricts circulation, slows your metabolism, shuts off muscles and tightens your connective tissues. Even exercising for an hour a day can’t do much to compensate for the dozen or so you spend slumping in a variety of chairs. But fortunately there’s a solution: just stand up. If you’re an able-bodied adult there’s rarely any need to sit down on public transport, for instance, and there’s no rule that says you need to be curled foetal on the sofa to play Call of Duty. The office won’t get you a standing desk? Suggest standing meetings as a way to prompt creativity. It’s worth it: standing burns 1.36 more calories a minute than sitting, and puts you at less risk of a host of cardiovascular diseases.
4. Do a big shop
The farmer’s walk – AKA that thing that the World’s Strongest Men do while carrying iron girders – is a fine move for everyone, not just 20-stone behemoths and, uh, farmers. Done properly, it works your arms, legs, core and conditioning – and will actually burn fat. It also couldn’t be simpler: all you need to do is carry a heavy object in each hand, preferably while keeping your back straight, shoulders back and head/chest up. This is a good enough reason to abandon the online shop and occasionally carry a week’s worth of sweet potatoes and meat home, or at least to the far end of the car park.
5. Sit on the floor to watch TV
Yes, like a child. Here’s why: modern sofa technology has advanced to the point where you can remain essentially motionless through an entire Downton Abbey Christmas special, but if you sit on the floor for exactly the same show you’ll be squirming, stretching, changing position and generally keeping your vital systems online before you even hit the first ad break. If you’re very keen, this would also be an ideal opportunity to foam-roll away some of the aches and pains of everyday life – there’s a brief guide to that here.
6. Do the 10-minute squat every day
In many countries, the deep squat is still part of everyday life – it’s just how you sit, relax, or go to the toilet. You, user of chairs and western toilets – and there’s no judgment here – probably haven’t done one in years. But you should – it’ll help enormously with your hip and ankle mobility, as well as providing you with a jolt of isometric exercise. Physical therapy expert Kelly Starrett suggests that you should be able to hold the position for 10 minutes, but if you can’t, just accumulate a minute at a time – maybe during ad breaks, or while you’re waiting for the kettle to boil. Once you’re ready for some next-level squatting, invest in a Squatty Potty.
7. Do an improbable number of press-ups
The humble press-up is underrated: it’ll work your chest and arms, obviously, but if you’re holding a strict “plank” position – ie your body’s in a perfect line throughout – it’ll work your core and glutes too. Want to do a number you’ve previously considered insane? Easy: first, divide the number you can comfortably do, chest-to-floor, by four. Now do that many every minute, on the minute, for 10 minutes. There: you’ve done (hopefully) anywhere between 10 and 200 press-ups, and you aren’t even sweating.
8. Get a pull-up bar
If you’re doing a lot of press-ups – or even just slumping at a desk all day – you should be doing pull-ups. They’ll counteract the computer-hunch, improve the health of your back, build your arms and – according to EMG testing, which measures electrical activation in different muscle groups – work your core muscles better than weighted crunches. Get a bar that clips on to your doorframe and uses leverage rather than screws to stay in place (I like the Powerbar 2) then just aim to do one or two reps each time you pass it throughout the day. Can’t do a pull-up? “Jump” to the top position, then lower yourself as slowly as you can – gymgoers call these “eccentrics” or “negatives” – just for a rep or two. You’ll get there eventually.
9. Help other people
If your big objection to the gym is that it’s fundamentally a waste of your precious hours on this planet, maybe it’s worth doing something useful in that time instead. Charitable organisations such as Goodgym and Independent Age will happily find you a community project or an elderly person who needs help with their gardening, which certainly counts as exercise. Too much commitment? Help a friend to move house and treat it as a training day; carry a pram upstairs for someone; offer to jog to the shops when your other half needs something. Altruistic fitness still counts as exercise.
10. Stop going through life with the minimum of physical effort
Tough love time: this, really, is what’s going to do it. Modern society’s done a good job of teaching us that saving effort is better, but this is not the case when it comes to physical activity. Stop thinking of exercise as something that requires a change of clothes and a warm-up – after all, you wouldn’t do either of those things if you had to run away from a mugger or lift a car off a baby. Move a bit more, and soon it’ll become natural.
